Today I have a guest contributor, my sister, Lorene. Lorene is sharing her very personal story about her Baby Alfie. Her story is heart-wrenching. She is on a mission to give something back to those who have been there for her on the darkest days. Please, read, share and if you can, support. Thank you.
Wednesday the 21st Feb 2018; it should have been the best day ever.
It started out as a normal day. We went to work and school as usual but we were meeting at 10.15 to go meet our little bundle of joy. The next part of our amazing journey had started. We had just gotten married in July, bought our family home shortly after and now the newest member of our family was on his/her way! This was the day we would get to see if our son was going to have a brother or a sister. He was secretly hoping for a brother but I know he wouldn’t mind either way. He was so excited and loves kids so much. Throughout the morning, something wasn’t sitting right with me. I was anxious and teary. I didn’t know why so I put it down to nerves.
During the scan, I noticed a worried look on the face of the lady doing it. I asked her how the baby was measuring and she said fine. She said she just needed to speak to me on my own so she asked my husband and son to leave. My heart sank..what is she going to tell me.
Our baby boy had fluid on his brain. At that moment it felt as though my whole world had just come crashing down around me. I never felt as lonely and empty as I did at that moment. And then I felt him kicking me as if to reassure me, you’re not on your own mammy I’m still here.
The Doctor explained that our little boy had fluid on his brain and a little on his kidneys. We would need to go to Holles Street as soon as possible. I just wanted to leave. I wanted to run away. The following week, we went to The National Maternity Hospital in Dublin, Holles St. I was 23wks, that day we learned just how bad it was. We were basically told Alfie was incompatible with life.
Nothing was the same, but we never gave up. No parent will want to hear those words, all we could see was our perfect little boy who spent day and night kicking Mammy, and reacting when his Daddy & big brother talked to him. We continued on a very tough pregnancy. They decided to induce at 34wks due to complications that could have arisen had we gone full term. After a failed induction, Alfie Dunne was born via c section on the 22nd may at 22.56 and lived for 2hours. The most precious 2hours. All 5lbs of him was just perfect, he was our little warrior. He fought to stay with us as long as he could, and we never gave up hope for our little fighter. We were blessed to have had him with us for the time we did We treasured every kick and punch, every scan, seeing his beautiful little face. And then to get to meet him alive was all we ever wanted. He couldn’t stay, but that was ok. He had work to be getting on with up above and we know he is minding us every day. I can just picture him as a very busy little boy. He was sent to us for a reason and he was taken for a reason. As hard as that is to comprehend, its the only way we can think of it or we will be filled with anger and that’s no good. He is a very special boy that gave us so much joy and happiness. That’s how we will remember him. When I think of my Alfie I want to smile and think of all the good he is doing, even on the really sad days.
After we had Alfie, Féileacain came into our lives. Real life wonderful, compassionate people, who too have borne this heartache of their own. These are all people that have too lost babies. They know first hand what it feels like. Far too many didn’t have the chance to have Féileacain when they had their babies. They didn’t get all the things they provide, and for that reason alone it is so important to have such a fantastic organisation available to people who need it. They are a non-profit organisation and that is why fundraising for them is so important. For us to be able to give back and say thank you in memory of our little boy is an honour.
Each fundraiser is appreciated so much, any donation can mean a huge difference to a
family who unfortunately needs their services. Here are some of the ways in which your
donations could help:
€50 could provide a Memory Box to a bereaved family to ensure they can make
memories with their baby
€200 could fund their helpline for one month!
€150 could provide a facilitated Support Meeting for up to 30 bereaved parents
€300 could fund bereavement & befriending training for 20 volunteers
On Sunday the 16th of September we are holding Alfie’s Tea Party in Terrerath Community Centre in Wexford from 2pm; there will be a bouncy castle, face painter, kids DJ, tea, cake and so much more. There will also be a fantastic raffle on the day with loads of brilliant prizes.
For people who can’t attend but wish to support the Tea Party, we have an online donation page here. Every little will help, no matter how big or small, we thank you in advance and if you can make it for tea & cake on the day please do!
Lorene, thank you for sharing Alfie’s story. You have never ceased to amaze me with your strength and determination. Alfie continues to inspire us all and will remain firmly in our hearts forever more.
It is a privilege to support Alfie’s Tea Party and give back to those who, having lived through their own heartache, have been able to help you.